1. There’s a child
out there whose life will be forever changed, enhanced, uplifted after reading
your book.
A parent as well.
2. Your husband (or
wife) won’t have to deal with your moping.
3. Your dog won’t have to deal with your
moping. (Or your cat, goldfish,
orangutan or yak)
4. You won’t have
to deal with your moping.
5. All the revenue generated by your best
seller will single-handedly prevent Barnes & Noble from closing down 23
stores.
6. The joy of completion, the intoxication
of finally reaching the finish line, is an experience to which you are
entitled. You have paid your dues.
7. You’ll pump new blood into children’s
literature.
8. ‘What if’ will be forever deleted from
your vocabulary.
9. Your agent will use her cut of the
profits to put her daughter through med school and the daughter will go on to
discover a cure for cancer, which never would’ve happened if you had tossed
your manuscript in the trash and eaten three pints of Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
10. You can finally move on to your next
book. Then your next book can stop
seeing a therapist. Are you aware
that your next book has been in therapy for years because it’s afraid that it
doesn’t exist? Your next book is a
basket case. It has high blood
pressure, low self-esteem. It
thinks you hate it. It wonders
what it did to offend you? Show it
some love. Finish your current
novel and wrap your arms around the next one.
:)
ReplyDeleteLove this! Project Mayhem has the best humor writers around! (Particularly so this week!)
ReplyDeleteOh what LOL fun! Especially love #4: You won’t have to deal with your moping. ha ha ha. And my next book is soooo in therapy right now. Having an intervention this weekend. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this!!!
ReplyDelete