Wow. What a busy weekend I had. My daughter's sixteenth birthday was yesterday (Happy Birthday, sweetheart). It was the Divisional Round in the NFL playoffs. I had to drive my other daughter to dance and back. I had to meet a blogger friend to exchange some books way down in the city. I had to whirlwind clean the house and vacuum up all the dog hair because the gateway inside our router had died, and AT&T had to send a technician to replace it.
There was other stuff too, and I'm not complaining, because I'm very fortunate to be able to do all these things, have a roof over our heads and so on, but it got me to thinking. Thinking about writing, being a father, having a day job, and still wanting to find time to do things I enjoy, like watching football. Luckily, I had recently finished another round of revisions on my novel, because I definitely would not have gotten any writing done this weekend, even if I'd wanted to. Also luckily, I no longer had teams I really care about involved in the playoffs (Vikings, Falcons), because if I had, I would have had to miss much of their games, with everything else that was going on.
So, to carry this comparison over to writing, I want to talk about how to find a balance. How to make the time to get it all done. We all have different strategies. Taking the laptop along to soccer practice is something I've done. Converting a friend's manuscript so that I can read and critique it on my Kindle is another. Skipping TV, or even writing or revising while the family is watching is another.
I'm also very fortunate that I have a job where I can get some writing and blogging done from work. My shift starts at 6 AM, though, so it means that I get very little sleep during the week. I suppose that's another way to find the time. Sleep less.
Lately I haven't even had the time to work out in the afternoons, which is not something I want to allow for long, but it just goes to show you that you can't always find the time for everything you want to do. Ideally it would be wonderful to be enough of a full-time author for it to pay all the bills, but I think we have to recognize that such a thing is very rare, and most of us will have to suffer through other jobs.
Those of you who have all these things on your plates, how do you manage it? Or even if you don't have a full-time job, but your time is short because our kid's lives are so full of commitments, and caring for a home can be a full-time job, how do you handle it and still find time to write?
This is a question we talk about a lot, and I know there really is no easy answer, but it's been on my mind lately, and it's always nice to hear about the strategies friends use.
Hehe, yeah ... I blogged about this not long ago too. I'm afraid there is no answer. But I have come to a conclusion this year. I'm not going to push myself, and I'm going to make sure I actually acknowledge and feel and EXPERIENCE everything I do, rather than race to meet that deadline and try to fit too much in. Basically, this year I'm not going to feel guilty if I have to say no. That's the only way to do. Nope, you don't get to fit everything in, but at least you enjoy the things you do fit in. xoxo
ReplyDeleteSometimes I don't. (And I don't even have the excuse of kids!) If I can force myself to sit down and try for even ten minutes, then I'll usually write for over an hour quite by accident. Which is good!
ReplyDeleteIt is SO HARD! I'm with Alex, I don't have kids and sometimes I have to stop and re-evaluate to keep from getting stressed out.
ReplyDeleteI'm adopting a child and buying a house this year and the stress AND paperwork alone is keeping me from several aspects of life. Work is BUSY therefore leaving hardly any time for blogging and writing like it used to. Life changes and we have to keep up with the flow.
I'm finally back to commenting and it's beacuse I made a list for myself. What I found important for the time and forgot the rest. It may change in a month, but for now, I'm happy!
I really have to tip my hat to anyone who can work a full time job, raise a family and write. I work (sort of) from home and trying to squeeze in time to write is tough. I think knowing that the morning is my most productive time and working with that has helped a lot.
ReplyDeleteI'm very lucky that right now, I have ample time for my writing, but I know that's a luxury situation! I'm a big list-maker. That's how I keep track of everything when times are busy.
ReplyDeleteI have to schedule and prioritize the best I can. But there's nothing I can do about snow days! Now if only a list could control the weather.
ReplyDeleteIf it's something that matters to you, somehow, you will always find a way to make the time. Late night/early morning hours work as some of the best times for me to write usually.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a busy weekend~ and yes, I'm glad you didn't have favorites in the playoff games~ it would have been a bummer to miss those!
ReplyDeleteI'm like Talli~ I'm a list-maker. First thing in the morning I review my to-do list for the day and the rest of the week. Whenever an appoinmtment comes up, or even if I get a school email about an upcoming test for one of the kids, it all goes on the Master list. I'm constantly shifting around the shiftable items, and I try to check off my list early in the day. Sometimes that means going to the grocery store at 6:00 AM, and prepping dinner so that I don't have to worry about that item. Sometimes it's shifting library time to another day to get something else done. Whatever it is, writing is always on the master list. Every day. I don't always get to it, but it's staring me in the face every morning, so I'm motivated to be organized enough to get to it.
Ugh. This is very tough. Something always has to be sacrificed. I'm really fortunate in that I am able to reserve a day or two during the week for writing, during which I have childcare. I also take a lot of shortcuts ... have my groceries delivered ... and I don't watch TV. At all. Which means I'm pretty out of it. And despite all that, it's still a constant struggle to find balance.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, Matt. I wish I had an answer for you. I've been trying for a long time to fit writing into my day, but I'm failing. Big time. This worries me a lot. I'll be reading the comments in the hopes that I can find a way.
ReplyDeleteAlso, a very happy 16th birthday to your daughter. And as I'm from the Boston area, go Pats!
I feel your pain. That's why its taken me so long to get my book released (today!). Sometimes you do what you can and that's all you can do. Time management helps, but often you simply have to extend some deadlines so you can keep the ones that cannot be extended, like those when people are relying on you to help them (God Bless you for that).
ReplyDeleteBut you have to work out. I heard someone say, take time to take care of yourself, or time will be taken from you.
Hello Mr McNish!
ReplyDeleteTime?!? Hah - I spit at time!
But seriously! I have no timetable or schedule. I blog mainly. I write when I get the bug. I worry more about getting the bug rather than finding the time. I may have all the time in the world but if my muse is on holiday what's the point? That's just for me btw and no, I don't have all the time in the world, but like I say, I spit at time! LOL!
Take care
x
Matt, Sometimes it really is frustrating, especially when you're obligated to one activity (oh, say a teacher's inservice day) and you'd rather be doing another (like writing). I actually find that I'm more efficient when I'm busy. I know how to make every minute count. Over the summer, when I'm off work, I often feel aimless and unproductive.
ReplyDeleteNo answers that work, it's different every day, BUT I'm gonna try that 'spitting at time' thing.
ReplyDeleteSo I used to work as a full time IT-guy -- 60 hour weeks, no over time pay, crappy salary, and I got sick of it. When I got laid off due to the economy, I had no desire to go back. I now do odd jobs and work from home for very, very low pay, but I write all the time and I don't regret it for a second. Money isn't always happiness... well, unless you don't have any. Then again, I don't have any kids, so I'm fortunate. Doing what I do and providing for kids just wouldn't happen.
ReplyDeleteLove the photo atop this post.
ReplyDeleteLike Sarah, I don't watch TV. So I'm totally adrift from pop culture, except when my kids keep me informed (at great length, I might add) about some show's plotline.
I probably don't sleep enough.
My house is a disaster zone. Like you, Matt, I would be cleaning up for the AT&T tech, if one was on his/her way.
When I had a full time job outside of the house, I wrote during my lunch break.
ReplyDeleteNow that I work from home as an editor, it's even harder to find time to write. Luckily, my boys nap at the same time every day. However, my writing time is going to be shot to hell once baby #3 comes in about 5 weeks.
Right now I'm teaching full time and I'm taking a very demanding class, and yeah, there's the rest of life... My writing is something I'm trying to keep active while I'm taking this class, but I'll probably get very few new words written until the class I'm taking ends in Mid-March.
ReplyDeleteI find that I feel less stressed over it if I let it all come in waves that ebb and flow. Sometimes I do a lot of concentrated writing - if I'm working on a new draft or a big revision - and then I won't do anything for a month or so after that. This helps me clear the calendar for several weeks at a time, so I have less competition for my time!
ReplyDeleteBut I have yet to find a way to regularly balance writing and everything else. TV is gone, which frees up a lot of time. I usually watch anything on hulu or netflix, long after it's come out, when I'm not in the middle of a writing craze. Cleaning and fancy cooking are way on the bottom of my list, and when I'm in a writing season we have a lot of breakfast-for-dinner or easy-to-prepare stuff.
I think family responsibilities are the most difficult, because there are mornings when I plan to write and then the baby is teething or I've gotten rotten sleep. But what can you do except roll with it?
I think it was Stephen King who said something along the lines of: Life isn't a support system for your art; it's the other way around. I try and keep that in mind when I feel overwhelmed. Also, I try and remember to be patient. Unless I'm on a deadline, I'm setting the schedule, and there is something wonderfully freeing about that.
well, you know I had to cut the blogging down to once/week. And I never watch TV anymore. Seriously. It's tough. You just have to prioritize. For me, the family comes first, and I try to keep up w/friends, but writing is a priority, too. And part of that is keeping up with other writers, etc. It's never easy. :p
ReplyDeleteI got excited at first because I thought the title of the post was: HOW TO STAY ON TOP OF IT ALL. I was looking forward to learning the magic answer. That said, I have no answer myself. Since my baby boy was born, time has been scarce. The one thing that helps me more than anything is my wife, who allows me to "get away" and write when I'm in a groove.
ReplyDeleteI schedule a lot. But, I have learned that when I don't get it all done, I can't beat myself up about it. I just re-schedule.
ReplyDeleteJuggling all life's responsibilities is not easy. As you know, Matt, I have four children, spanning three different schools-elementary, junior high, and high school. That alone is a nightmare to keep track of. Top that will the kids' activities, and you're talking major migraine. They are my 1st full-time J.O.B., at least for the last 12 years. I have many other duties that I won't bore you with, but the point is I MUST include myself on my duty list. So often we forget about ourselves. It's the valiant thing to do, isn't it? Do for others before ourselves. But if we don't care for ourselves--physically and mentally (for me, writing is my mental therapy)--we won't be at our best to care for others and do our duties to the best of our abilities.
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents.....
I am in continual awe of those of you with jobs and families who still manage to make the time to write and blog and comment on other people's blogs! You are amazing, Matt.
ReplyDeleteI get asked the same question a lot by family, friends and others who know I've published. And honestly, I have no clue how I do it. I know the hubby steps in on cleaning the house A LOT and at least once a week we have dinner from the freezer.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy, but necessary. Things slip through and you have to go on.
To me, I always say if the family is healthy, all is good. And if something takes two, three days longer to do, or even a week - well, then that's what we'll do.
But no, it's not easy... ... and I still don't know how I do it.
(Isn't there a movie with SJ Parker on that topic? I've been meaning to see it, but can't find the time)
Yeah, I don't juggle well. I try to do it all but I'm usually failing at most areas.
ReplyDeleteI go in spurts. My life, like yours, has lots of work, kids, the spouse, and everyday life that gets in the way. Saturday tends to be my "day". Because the hubs works and the teenage offspring sleeps 'til noon, I have the whole morning to myself! And I make good use of it, too. Other than that, I squeeze stuff in here and there when I can. Blogging is probably the most difficult thing of all--it tends to come in last (boo).
ReplyDelete~JD
The only thing I have on my plate is a delicious flaky belgian waffle made with my professional belgian waffle skillet. If you could see it covered in melted butter and warm syrup, you would be jealous and seek to claim my plate. But as you've pointed out...you already have so much on your own. But it isn't near as tasty.
ReplyDeleteThat is the big, big question I struggle with all the time. Because I have the job, the kid to run away, a house to take care of & too much reading blogs. Sigh. I go through phases now when I don't write much. And then there are other stages like now where I started writing again and am trying to do some most days. It's a big juggle for those of us who work. And like you, we don't get much sleep.
ReplyDeleteI'm fortunately in a position right now that I can get in several hours of writing on the days when I need to. Family stuff demands a lot of time though (I have a fifteen year old that needs to be driven EVERYWHERE. Ugh). Sounds like you're doing the best you can. Can't expect much more than that.
ReplyDeleteSome days are better than other but, overall, I try to squeeze writing and the social media in-between various activities throughout the day. I bring my laptop to my son's Karate class and work on edits. I write at the library when the house gets too crowded. I go to Starbucks and work on my laptop when I need good vibes from a crow around. I always carry a notebook in my purse and make notes for scenes in my novel or for my blog posts. During summer, when my kids are out of school, I do a lot of writing in the park, while they play.
ReplyDeleteSometimes all of it is easy, but sometimes things get hard. I watch for those days when I can't concentrate on work and that's when I let myself off the hook :-)
Matt MacNish can do no wrong! Interesting that he wrote this, considering I've been wanting to ask him how he finds time for everything that he does on a daily basis. Great post.
ReplyDeleteI juggle so many things I sometimes don't know if I'm coming or going. Writing tends to get pushed to the back burner, but that's often because I'm self-employed and there are things I need to do to bring in money right now.
ReplyDeleteMy new Dragon software has made editing a lot more fun and certainly faster though.
Wow, what a busy weekend! Sounds like it was good, either way!
ReplyDeleteI have a fantastic job where I usually get the bulk of all my blog work and writing work done, in between...you know...working and all. I have been able to do critique partner notes, write my novels, blog, etc all from work most weeks! I'm very blessed for that, because once I get home a whole other world takes over my head and I can't always focus like I should. I have At Home ADD I think...
What Marissa said. 100%. That gal oozes wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI just prioritize. Some things I've just let go or I do them for a shorter time period. Like you, I'll be on the couch critiquing or reading for a review while hubby watches a movie. I can kind of give both some attention.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm also lucky that my children are all grown and I'm not running them here and there anymore.
Lately, time seems to just slip away and if I'm not careful, the writing gets pushed to the side. I try to decide what I want to accomplish this week and work from there. It doesn't always get done, but somehow when I start stressing over one particular thing, I find the time to sit down and get it done.
ReplyDeleteHaving two active kids and a full time job must be challenging. I've only got one kid and have to juggle all kinds of stuff. I guess we cope 'cause we hafta.
I can empathize. I try to juggle and my arms get tired. I no longer watch television because something had to go. It was at the bottom of my "important" list. It's tough. You sound like you are a great juggler.
ReplyDeleteAh, that is the age-old question I struggle with all the time. How do people find the time? How do you balance it? I had to put blogging on hold for a while because I just couldn't balance it all. With a new kiddo in a few months mixing into the equation, I am not sure how I'll balance it all again. I'm always figuring out new ways to juggle everything. But I always tell myself family comes first because some days I need a reminder of that. Just put the computer down, and do what needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteThe house is not pin neat. I hope to earn enough writing to someday afford a cleaning service. I get complaints from my husband that I don't plan to spend time with him. So sometimes something just has to give. Like you said. I schedule my time during the day. When the hands on the clock reach that time, I switch gears. That's the only way I've found to do it.
ReplyDeleteThere are times I get it all done and times I don't. And I have to be alright with both. I simply live as I need to and write as much as I can.
ReplyDeleteThere are times I get it all done and times I don't. And I have to be alright with both. I simply live as I need to and write as much as I can.
ReplyDeleteThere are times I get it all done and times I don't. And I have to be alright with both. I simply live as I need to and write as much as I can.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to design a tool belt that I can strap my laptop to when I go running. That way, I can get another hour of writing in AND a good workout. The whole treadmill thing didn't work so well. (Don't ask.)
ReplyDeleteI don't sleep. It's as simple as that. But I'm use to that from my grad school days and when my kids were much younger (and didn't sleep through the night).
ReplyDeleteBecause of this, once I lay down, I'm out for the count. My husband's jealous.
I get up at 5 am to write or blog.
It works for me to write or edit when the kids do their homework. I've gotten very good at bouncing back after multiple interruptions. Sometimes I take my older kids out to write at a coffee shop or restaurant - they can bring a book or study.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great, timely post. Typically I set goals each day and bigger writing goals over a larger time period. Visit bloggers and social media sites for 1 1/2 and edit 1 chapter of WIP might be a daily goal. Finish final edits on WIP by January 31 is a good example of a long term goal. I also don't get too watch much random TV, which is probably a good thing!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to write this comment with a squirmy child on my lap. The balance this is ever elusive. I keep trying. I think that's all I can do.
ReplyDeleteBalance is tough. I normally don't get lots of chunks of time for writing during the week - so I tend to blog more then. During the weekend I try to squeeze in writing. But, like you, this past weekend was a write off. It's really tough!
ReplyDeleteSkipping TV is no sacrifice for me, but sleep is an absolute necessity. I never write when the kids are around, but I bounce ideas off of them. Technically that's work too. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy responsibilities are 1. Go to work 40 hrs a week, and 2. Care for the dog. And yet, I still struggle finding time to write.
ReplyDeleteWhen I finally get a chance to work on my story, I find I need to have a large chunk of time (over an hour). That's usually my problem: when do you have 2+ hrs of time?
We have four kids, and my responsibility is looking after the house, which obviously takes a lot of time (I should be cleaning the bathrooms right now). As of Thursday, my 3-year-old will be at nursery for five mornings a week, which is great, but I know other things will still come up. For example, I now have to spend Thursday and Friday mornings taking the van in and out of the garage because they didn't have a hire car for me on Monday as agreed. Not only did they waste my time and diesel, now they're cutting into my writing time!! But I think my goal is to write 5000 words a week no matter what. If that means staying up a few nights, I'm well used to that!
ReplyDeleteTime? What's that? I just do the best I can... ;D
ReplyDeleteI'm trying my best to figure out how to stay on top of everything myself. It sounds like you've got some great ideas that I might follow.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you all the way on this one, Matthew. I have three busy kids and the activities can really drain away any writing time. And then the spouse thinks HE needs some quality time, too--go figure. LOL. Anyway, you're right; there is no easy answer. It helps me to know I'm not alone, though, and that my writer buddies are going through the same thing I am. :-)
ReplyDeleteThere are casualties every single day! There is no easy answer...if there was, somebody would be selling it on QVC! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck catching your groove. I know I am still trying to find mine. Usually my writing gets shoved to the back. But I figure that will be there no matter what, the kids will grow and be gone sometime. At least in my long range plan. It is frustrating though and from the number of comments I think you know you've hit on a common experience for us all.
ReplyDelete