The Key to Rejection

"If we are unwilling to change it is highly likely we have already reached our maximum level of achievement."

~John Fuhrman

In his book, Reject Me - I Love It!, now in its 2nd Edition,John Fuhrman provides us with a book full of strategies to use rejection to our advantage. In chapter nine he uses the word success to provide some of those strategies:
 

• Self-evaluate
• Understand each task
• Care
• Concentrate
• Expect
• See
• Share

 

Self-evaluation requires us to evaluate and compliment ourselves. Fuhrman advises us to evaluate our mistakes, determining how we can make changes for the future, and encourages us to be equally committed to rewarding ourselves with compliments when we do well.

We must understand not only the task we have created for ourselves but also why we need to make our dream happen. Focus and clarity keep us on the right road. Avoiding rejection detours us from our chosen path--our path is supposed to have rejection on it.

Care about your dreams and goals. Fuhrman reminds us that if we don't care about something, we won't pay attention to the details; the map becomes vague.

Concentration allows us learn how actions affect results, which allows us to make adjustments or new plans.

Concentration allows us to understand what we have learned so we can avoid the same mistakes. It keeps us focused on our goals and dreams, protecting us from distractions that would slow our progress and helping us overcome the fear of rejection.

Expect to succeed. Expecting something confirms its certainty in your mind.

See, feel and hear your future. Fuhrman tells us we should walk backwards toward success. Picture yourself as successful already and act accordingly.

Share how you achieve success with others. This is my favorite one. Fuhrman tells us that as we become successful we need to share what we receive, something our blogging circle does exceedingly well.

"It's not only the doing of great things, but also the sharing of how you did it that's key to your success. It makes your life happier, more fulfilling, and worthwhile. It also supports others in their quest for success--inspiring them to achieve the same rewards."

Rejection doesn't always have to be a bad thing. 

The key is in how we choose to deal with it.

 

Rushing towards that dream? Wait.

So for some writers, the ultimate dream is to get published. The path there may differ, of course: get an agent, get picked up by one of the Big Six; self-publish; go with a small press. Whatever it is, the years of long hard work and patience all seem to culminate in the golden prize of being a published author.

That's how it is for me, too. But it shouldn't be all about your name on the hardcover. So I asked a few middle-grade authors:

What do you miss most from when you were an unpublished, unagented writer?

From Kate Messner, author of Sugar and Ice and The Brilliant Fall of Gianna Z.:

The thing I miss about being an unpublished, unagented writer is that feeling of anticipation, I think...the knowing that that first phone call would come if I worked hard enough and persevered. It’s funny because I think that waiting can be the most frustrating thing about that stage in one’s writing life, too — but I also know that you only get one first book, and hearing the news of that first sale on the phone is something I’d love to go back and experience again. It’s the moment when a dream comes true.

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From Jonathan Auxier (remember him, guys? we reviewed his book a while back), author of Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes:

That is a wonderful (and complex!) question. I don't miss anything about being un-agented, save the complete ignorance of just how hard it is to get something you've written out into the world. However, there is one thing I miss about being unpublished: before I had a book in the world, I had no real sense of my audience. Audience was an abstract idea that couldn't be pinned down and had little say in my storytelling. With the publication of Peter Nimble, however, I've suddenly found myself writing stories with specific readers in mind. It's hard to type a sentence without thinking: I wonder what Librarian X or Critic Y will think of this? While such thoughts may be helpful during revisions, they can be crippling to the early stages of the creative process.

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From Stephen Messer (remember him, too? we interviewed him), author of The Death of Yorik Mortwell and Windblowne:

This is a tough one. You work so hard to get to the point where you're a published author that your first instinct is to say you don't miss anything about the period where you were working on the seemingly hopeless task of writing this novel that may not be any good and that no one would ever want to read (you imagine). But that wouldn't be true. I do miss writing purely for the act of creation, without any thought to sales or business or placement in chain bookstores or any of the other things you can't control but still find yourself thinking about once you've got a contract. There's a freedom in knowing you can write whatever you like, taking all the time you like, and simply run wild without consideration of the bottom line. But as far as problems go, this is still one I'll gladly accept!

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Anticipation, lack of an audience, and no creative boundaries... those all sound like excellent reasons to me for appreciating your time as an unpublished writer. What do you think?